PervPool Works - Even When It Makes Us Sad

 A couple weeks ago I wrote this:

It's a mix of OPS (Original Perv Score) and the Utility Principle, i.e. the greatest good for the greatest number. I give Al Franken a OPS of -2 (such scores must be expressed as negatives) and a UP of +7. So, no Al, don't quit. Though if other, more serious, incidents emerge.... We are all afloat on the winds of history.

And sometimes we sink on those same winds. More women are coming forward, and Franken's popularity in Minnesota sinks. He's moving from plus to minus territory. If he is no longer an effective advocate for liberal causes - specifically the exposure and punishment and ultimate cessation of sexual harassment - then his 'past goods' are no longer enough to merit support.

You create a metric you got to stick with it.

New Number Eight Pick

Not a picture of Penn Jillette

A sharp-eyed Marfa Dog pointed out that Herman Cain was under the Perv Spotlight during his abortive presidential run. We are all about "fresh meat" when it comes to perving.

Informed he had to pick again, Komrade Trump laughed, threw his boa-length scarf over his shoulder, cocked his Bear Bryant porkpie at an even more rakish angle and declared:

Penn Jillette

Eighth Pick in the First Round

English: Lorne Michaels at the 2010 Time 100. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Marfa Dogs pick:

Lorne Michaels

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Seventh Pick in the First Round

English: U.S. presidential candidate Herman Cain speaks at a rally at Tennessee Tech University in Cookeville, Tennessee. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Komrade Trump picks:

Herman Cain

Sixth Pick in the First Round

Baroness Alvarez picks:

Betsy DeVos

Fifth Pick in the First Round

Larry and the Sun Oracle Challenge (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Mordant le Fey picks:

Larry Ellison

Fourth Pick in First Round

English: Senate portrait of Lindsey Graham. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Baron Alvarez picks:

Lindsey Graham

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Third Pick in the First Round - Turns Out to Be a Winner

English: Novo-Ogaryovo. Interview with NBC Television (USA). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Bulletin 11/29/17: Lauer goes down! CC Rider wins!

He explains his win thus:

Honestly my strategy  : "Who is the biggest frickin' fish in the news world and who seems untouchable?"
Matt Lauer came to mind...


CC Rider picks:

Matt Lauer

Second Pick in the First Round

Tesla Grand Opening in Menlo Park - Tesla Chairman, Elon Musk. (CC) Brian Solis, http://www.briansolis.com and http://bub.blicio.us. Feel free to use this picture. Please credit as shown. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Rabbit Habit picks:

Elon Musk

The PervPool Draft Has Begun

English: Kenneth Branagh at a press conference for Thor in London in April 2011. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Tommy Torquemada picks:

Kenneth Branagh

Famous Italian Pervs (Who Needs War Heroes?)

English: Sculpture from a temple at Khajuraho showing Very Beautiful Consensual Sex (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 They call him the Italian Harvey Weinstein.

Different women described Fausto Brizzi undressing in front of them, attempting to remove their clothes, forcing them to lie down next to him, trying to make them touch his penis or masturbating in front of them.

Sound familiar? Jesus, is there like a manual for this?

Come Essere Un Grande Pervertito Sessuale (Dieci settimane nella lista dei best seller)

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PervPool Formula Validated by Mark Halperin

Anti-Sexual Harassment Graffiti reading: No Touching allowed: Castration Awaits You (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The story was linked to by Political Wire under the hed, "Halperin’s Legacy Was Worse Than Sexual Harassment."
PervPool lets the writer speak for herself. 

We'll Be Paying For Mark Halperin's Sins For Years To Come: Reports of sexual harassment destroyed his reputation and his career. But I want to talk about the deeper, subtler, more insidious effect Mark Halperin had on our politics.

PervPool comments: What we have here is a guy with an OPS (Original Perv Score) of -7 and a UP (Utility Principle) of -8. It's like having leprosy and bubonic plague at the same time.

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• Actress Jordana Grolnick Also Accuses President George H.W. Bush of Groping
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• These Industries Have the Highest Reported Rates of Sexual Harassment

Yes, Nude Selfies Are a PervPool Winner

Joe Linus Barton, a Representative from Texas (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This Republican is off the board, but so many are left.

Joe Barton: “While separated from my second wife, prior to the divorce, I had sexual relationships with other mature adult women,” Barton, 68, said in a statement first reported by the Texas Tribune. “Each was consensual. Those relationships have ended. I am sorry I did not use better judgment during those days. I am sorry that I let my constituents down.”

No, Joe, you let PervPool down. Couldn't you have kept your parts pixillated for another seven days until after our draft?

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The Perversion of Perversion is Perverse

Kevin Drum talks about squandering this moment of awareness of sexual abuse.

There’s a partisan issue here, but there’s also, for lack of a better phrase, an assole issue as well. If you’re fundamentally a decent human being, like Franken, you apologize. Then you get investigated. Then you might resign, because lots of your fellow decent human beings think you should.

But if you’re an asshole, not only do you deny the charges, you do your best to smear the accusers. That’s what Moore and Trump have done. This gives your fellow assholes the cover they need to back off while they “wait for more evidence.”

The result is that the more decent you are, the more likely you are to pay the price for your sexual misconduct. The more of an asshole you are, the less likely you’ll pay any price.

But such moments of probity and duplicity matter not to PervPool. We will take our winnings and buy a Re-elect Frank Underwood t-shirt. We are so ironic we make hipsters cry.

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How Should We Feel When a Perv Goes Down?

Journalist and TV talk show host Charlie Rose arrives at Ralph Lauren's 40th Anniversary in the Conservatory Garden in Central Park, New York City, September 8, 2007. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It's a mix of OPS (Original Perv Score) and the Utility Principle, i.e. the greatest good for the greatest number. I give Al Franken a OPS of -2 (such scores must be expressed as negatives) and a UP of +7. So, no Al, don't quit. Though if other, more serious, incidents emerge.... We are all afloat on the winds of history.

But Charlie Rose has an OPS of -5 (though it could go higher) and a UP of maybe +3? Charlie, don't let the door hit your damp wet ass on the way out.

Related articles

• Iowa U.S. Congressional candidate Finkenauer to divert Franken donations to nonprofit helping sex assault victims
• Radio Anchor Leeann Tweeden Says She Accepts Al Franken's Apology
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• Uh oh: Another woman says Al Franken groped her in 2010
• Democrat senator Al Franken apologises after being accused of groping radio host while she was asleep

Who Are the Creepiest Celebrities?

Celebrities (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

That someone is doing research on this is pretty creepy

I do research on creepiness.  As disturbing as that should probably sound to me, I will set it aside for a moment and give you some background. When I first looked into this topic about five years ago, I was very surprised to find out that no one had ever done a study on creepiness.  This is especially surprising given how frequently creepiness is discussed in everyday life, and the little bit of research that was at all relevant focused on how we respond to things such as weird nonverbal behaviors. 

These Are the Rules - Subject to Change, Of Course

English: August 2003 rally in front of the Alabama state judicial building in support of Roy Moore. Taken from the Re-taking America website, copyrighted by Kelly McGinley at Re-Taking America, from whom permission has been received to license this material under the GNU Free Documentation License. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

We each draft 10 celebs and the winner is the player who has two pervs - by which I mean sexual harassers - exposed first. 

Stakes are $20. Once the players have declared, I'll use a random number generator to create draft order, reversing at the bottom and heading back to number 1. We all have to agree that someone is a celeb before moving to the next spot in the draft.

Wholesome fun. Published allegations are enough. Who's in?

Commissioner of Perv

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